Recovering
by addictedtoscandal
Summary: Mellie and Fitz are recovering from the death of their son and the absence of Olivia Pope.
1. Chapter 1

Fitz and Mellie had been trying to work on their marriage as of lately. Olivia was gone, Jerry was dead, and all they had left were each other, plus Karen and Teddy. Things weren't perfect, but they were getting by the best they could, trying to grieve and pick up the pieces.

It was around 10:00 a.m. when Fitz decided to stop by Mellie's office. He had a few minutes before he had to handle the next task Cyrus had assigned him that day. It had been nearly a month since Jerry's death and this was Mellie's first week back at work.

"Hey, Mels." He said walking in.

"Hey, how's your day going?" She replied softly.

"I could ask you the same thing.. I've been back at work for nearly a month now. You're just starting to get back on track," he said, not trying to coddle her but letting her know he was here.

"It's going.. it never gets easier, but the work is distracting me," she said with a sigh.

Fitz moved to sit in the chair in front of her desk. "Well I'm glad you're distracting yourself. Speaking of distractions, how would you feel about having dinner with me tonight?" He asked hopefully.

"We have dinner together every night." She said.

"I know that, but I was thinking of something different, fancier.. maybe Alessandro's around 7:00?"

"Are you asking me out on a date, Fitz?" She replied with a slight smile on her face.

"That depends, are you saying yes?" He replied cheekily.

"Okay. Dinner at 7:00."

"I've got meetings, but I'll meet you in the residence around then. Don't be late."

"I never am." That was one thing that was right about Mellie. She was always on time.

"I'll see you then." He winked at her before walking out of her office to finish with the rest of his day.

Mellie's POV

It's nearly 6:00 p.m. and I still haven't figured out what I'm going to wear. Fitz and I haven't been on a date in I don't know how long. I want to wear a dress, but not a first lady dress. Tonight I'm just Mellie. I'm not a mother, I'm not the first lady, I'm just a wife who's going on a date with her husband. I reach into the back of my closet and I find what I'm looking for. A simple coral colored dress, sleeveless with a cowl neckline and a slight slit up the right side. It's sexy but elegant. I bought this dress for an anniversary dinner that we never had.

I put it on and begin to do my hair and makeup. I wear my hair down of course, but this time I don't tease it or make it big. I'm not the first lady tonight. I slightly curl the ends and take time doing my makeup.

I finish and walk into the closet to put on my nude Louboutins when I hear Fitz moving around. He's buttoning his shirt, changing himself, when he finally turns to look at me.

"Wow…" he says.

I blush slightly and look down. "It's just a dress," I say.

He walks over to me and takes my hands. "You look great, Mels." He says kissing my forehead. He then walks into the bathroom to fix his hair. He'll never admit this but he's very self conscious about it. It worries him if "the curl", as he calls it, isn't properly in place.

I'm in my thoughts, putting on my jewelry, as he walks back in.

"You ready to go?" He asks. This is the first time I really look at him all night. He's so handsome. He's wearing a navy suit, a light blue button down, no tie, the top button of his shirt undone, and a leather banded watch. For the first time in awhile I think about jumping his bones. Get a grip, Mellie. I think to myself. It's just dinner.

"What?" He asks me self-consciously.

"Nothing.. you just.. you look really handsome, Fitz."

"Come on, let's go." He smiles at me. A very genuine smile that is so very Fitz like. He walks over to me and takes my hand and we walk down to the car together. His then rest his hand at the small of my back where it belongs.

Fitz's POV

My hand is on the small of her back as we walk down to the car. Gosh, she looks gorgeous. That dress is a knockout. It hugs her in all the right places. I'm tempted to move my hand lower but tonight isn't about sex. Not yet. I just want to reconnect with my wife emotionally. The neckline does nothing but flatter her breasts and I have to force myself to stop thinking about the way they perfectly fit in my hand or the way she moans my name when she's turned on. Get a grip, Fitz. I think to myself.

We slide into the back of the motorcade and I can't help but feel nervous. It's been so long since I've been on a date. Mine and Mellie's marriage fell apart awhile ago, and between Olivia and I it was always quick rendezvous here and there. I've forgotten how to court a woman. I make a mental note to myself to make sure I pull out her chair, order for her, and always refill her wine glass. Wine makes Mellie flirty so that should make things easier on me.

"What are you thinking about?" She asks me hesitantly.

I look over at her and I'm still blown away by how hot she looks tonight. Her heels, her dress, everything just looks so perfect on her. "Just you. And me. Us. It's been awhile since we've done this."

"I know, but I'm excited. I couldn't say no to you after you told me we were going to Alessandro's."

I get scared for a moment. "So you were thinking about saying no?" I ask.

"Not at all. I was just surprised. We haven't been on a date in quite awhile and I was just.. taken back. That's all."

"I know. I'm sorry for that. I really do want tonight to be special, Mels." I tell her genuinely. She's had such a rough time since Jerry's death, we both have, and I just want a night with her where I can make her laugh and smile, and take off the pressure of being the president and first lady.

"It already is." She scoots closer to me and puts her hand on my knee. Mellie was always a toucher. Throughout the whole first half of our marriage, before things went south, she would always touch my knee, or grab my arm, or hold my hand. Part of me was so angry when she took that away from me. I put my hand on top of hers and enjoy the rest of the ride to the restaurant and having her this close to me again.


	2. Chapter 2

We arrive at the restaurant and now we're sitting down at our table. We order and talk about the kids, the presidency, conversation comes easy. I look around and realize we're all alone, no one is here except for the cooking staff.

"You rented out the whole restaurant?" I ask Fitz.

"Yes. I told you I wanted a night with just us." He explains simply, taking a sip of what used to be our favorite bottle of wine.

"Well we could have had that without you shutting down all of Alessandro's." I say with a laugh.

"If I didn't rent out the whole place we'd be bombarded all night by fans asking for pictures and autographs. I didn't want all that…I just wanted a night with you." He explains shyly.

"Fitz…" I'm taken back. He's being so kind and sweet. It's almost overwhelming. I lean over and kiss his cheek. "Thank you." I say and give him a smile.

He smiles back.

Our food comes and we begin to dig in. I can tell he wants to ask me something but he's hesitant.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Nothing.. I don't want to ruin the evening."

"You won't, I promise. What?"

"Mellie, really. I don't want to fight."

"We aren't fighting." I say simply.

"Why did you go to Andrew?" He asks out of the blue. It just rolls off his tongue. I don't say anything for a moment and he begins to speak up. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. I don't want the night to take a turn. We don't have to talk about it now."

"No, it's okay. We can talk about it if you want." He nods his head and I continue. "Andrew's always been a friend to me. Back when you were running for governor…" my voice gets quiet and I look down "after the rape…something happened to me."

"What happened?" He asks immediately.

"I'm not ready to talk about it."

"Mellie." He's getting aggravated now, I can tell. But I'm not ready to talk about my suicide attempt.

"Fitz, please, don't make me. Just accept it."

"Why does he get to know things about you that I don't?"

"Because he was there for me at a time when you weren't." He gets quiet then. He looks away from me and begins to shovel food around his plate.

"I'm sorry, I know that was harsh."

"No, don't be. It's the truth. I've been a bastard of a husband, that's for sure."

"Fitz, don't do this please.. don't ruin tonight." I plead with him.

"Okay, so something happened to you. Continue…" He says.

"Something happened to me that caused…" I struggle looking for the words. "It caused for mine and Andrew's paths to cross. We ended up spending the night together and…" before I can even get the words out he's raising his voice.

"WHAT? I thought you two didn't start until recently. Until I invited him to be on the ticket?!"

"We are in public. Stop it." I remind him.

"Sorry, I just don't like being lied to." He says gruffly. He's being petty and he knows it. He hates not getting his way.

"I will leave. I will get up and walk out of this restaurant, by myself, to the press waiting outside and I will make you look like a fool if you don't quit. You were the one who brought this topic up so either let me finish or I'm going back home." I tell him.

He takes a deep breath before speaking. "I'm sorry, Mels. Baby, I'm sorry. Go on." Baby. He called me baby. He hasn't called me that in years. We always called each other that before our marriage went south. I soften my stance toward him at this.

"We didn't actually sleep or have sex. Andrew just stayed up all night talking to me and I realized I was fond of him. We argued politics mostly and we realized have this chemistry with one another." Fitz closes his eyes once I say this and I can tell it's taking everything in him not to blow.

"Anyways, he approached me back then. Tried to make a move on me and I turned him down." Fitz just stares at me with an unreadable look.

"Our marriage was just starting to fall apart. We hadn't slept together in probably 2 months but it was really causing a rift between us. I liked him but I loved you, so I turned him down."

"Just like that?" He asks me.

"Yeah, it was simple really. He told me he missed talking and spending time with me and I told him that I was married. 'I was your wife' were the exact words I used." I say trying to lighten the mood.

"And, well, when you invited him to be on the ticket he was relentless. Always complimenting me, trying to kiss me or follow me around. And we were at a point back then where we were barely speaking to one another. You were with Olivia and I was lonely. I was going through a lot and I needed someone. Someone to be on my side. So I gave into him."

He begins to speak but I cut him off. "I want you to know, though, that Andrew wasn't about you. It wasn't about not receiving enough attention from you so I went after him. Andrew was about me. I wanted to feel something again. I had been numb for years and I just wanted to feel something real."

"So Andrew wasn't just a fling? It was real?" He asks slowly.

"It was real, Fitz. If you hadn't sent Olivia to break us up and Jerry hadn't died, I can't say I'd be sitting here right now."

"Then why are you here?" He asks.

"Because after Jerry's death I saw a side of you I hadn't seen in years. You took care of me. For the first time in a very long time, you stood by my side. I'll never forget…it was about a week after the funeral and I hadn't gotten out of bed in days and you came into our bedroom and you wrapped your arms around me an just held me while I cried." I tear up a little at this and he reaches to grab my hand.

"I didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed, I felt comforted. I felt like I could let it all go and you'd still be there."

"I'm here right now, Mels." He says stroking a piece a hair out of my face. His other hand never leaving mine.

"I know. It's why I'm here too." I say to him and we just stare into one another's eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

We finished with dinner and are now back in the motorcade. Fitz hasn't touched me since we've gotten back in the car and I'm worried. I can tell that telling him what I had with Andrew was real has really hurt him.

"Are you okay?" I ask hesitantly.

"Yeah, Mels, I'm fine." He says with a fake smile. I know when he's faking it. He's faked it with me for years in front of the press, so I know when Fitz is or isn't being genuine.

"No, you're not. You forget I've been married to you for almost 20 years. I know when you're lying to me."

"I told you I didn't want to ruin the evening. I had a good time at dinner tonight, despite that conversation. Let's not ruin it." He says to me.

"Fitz…"

"Mellie, please." He pleads with me. I can tell he's really in his emotions.

"Okay." I say softly.

I just sit there and stare at the window. We're sitting on complete opposite sides, as far away from each other as possible. This is what I didn't want. I got my hopes up and now we're right back to square one. I have to say something.

"Fitz… can I just say one more thing?"

He nods at me and I continue.

"It was real between us too, you know? Before Andrew, before Olivia, before the rape.. it was real between you and I."

He just looks at me. "I know that, Mels. Don't you think I know that?"

"I just want you to know that things would be different. If your dad never.." I stop and have to regain my emotions. I'm not used to talking about my rape so casually. "If your dad never raped me, if Olivia and Andrew never came along, we wouldn't be here right now. I mean maybe we would be here physically, you would very well still be president, but our marriage would still be real. We would still be real."

He sighs at this and reaches over taking my hand. "We still are, Mels."

"Baby.." He says to me. "Would you give me another chance?"

"What do you mean?" I ask

"Would you give me a chance to make things right. To fix everything and right all the wrongs I've done to you." I don't say anything for awhile and he continues.

"Mellie, you have always been there for me. No matter what I've done, no matter how much I've hurt you, you're still here. Olivia is gone and I need to move on with my life. My son is dead and I need to move on. I don't want to move on without you."

"Fitz.." I say as the tears start to fall down my face. I can't hold it in any longer. For years, all I wanted was for him to say this to me. For him to want me.

"You want to be with me?"

"Baby.." He says, putting a hand on my face. "I've always wanted to be with you. But when I thought you didn't want me I went looking elsewhere. I'm sorry, Mellie. I'm so sorry I did that to you. I'm sorry I pushed you into Andrew's arms. I'm sorry I ruined our marriage when all you ever did was fight for it."

"Okay, I'll give you another chance." I say while nodding.

He wraps his arm around me and brings me closer to him, to his side of the car. He kisses my forehead and we just sit there and bask in the comfort of one another. It feels so good to be back in my husband's arms.


	4. Chapter 4

Back in the residence, we're changing for bed. Mellie and I have our backs to one another, both respectively changing on our sides of the closet, but I can't help but sneak a peek in the mirror. She is so beautiful… She unzips her dress from the side. Thankfully, I don't have to unzip it for her because if I did I don't know if I'd be able to stop. I watch her step out of it and throw it in the hamper. Her heels and jewelry have been taken off and she stands there in nothing other than a matching, lacy bra and panty set. I have to divert my eyes away from the mirror because I know if I continue watching her I won't be able to calm myself down.

I want my wife. I've wanted her since the moment I walked into the closet and saw her in that dress, maybe even before when I was in her office. In the past, whenever Mellie was upset she always wanted me to make love to her. She said to me, "it makes me feel better. When I'm sad and all I want to do is cry, having you holding me that close to you and wanting me that much makes me feel better." She puts on a tough facade but I know that losing Jerry is killing her and I want nothing more than to make love to her and make her feel better…but I can't. Not yet. Our marriage can't take that right now. If we were to rush into things and start having sex immediately it would't be the same.

The last time we had sex was when we conceived Teddy and I was awful to her. It wasn't about her. I didn't even make her cum. I thought about Olivia enough to turn me on and I was relentless. I did that to her after she was raped by my father. After she gave up everything for me. So I make a promise to myself now that the next time I make love to my wife, I will work at it with every fiber in my body. I will please her to no extent.

Mellie's voice takes me out of my thoughts. "Are you coming to bed?" She asks.

"Yeah, I'll be right out, honey." I say and she walks off to our bedroom. She's changed into a simple satin nightgown now. Something that isn't exactly helping with my horniness, but, as much as I hate to admit it, I've turned into kind of a pro over the years when it comes to resisting my wife.

I walk out of the closet, into our bedroom, and to my side of the bed. The lights are all out except for the lamp on the table on my side. I smile to myself. She probably left that on just for me.

She's rolled over facing away from me, pretending to be asleep. I climb in and I'm confused as to what to do. I want to cuddle with her and hold my wife, but what if she takes it sexually. What if she climbs on top of me and starts kissing my neck…I might be a pro at resisting bitchy Mellie, but hot and bothered Mellie is my kryptonite. I decided to hold her anyways. If she does try to start something, I'll just have to resist. Put your marriage before your own needs, Fitz. I say to myself.

I reach out and wrap my left arm around her, pulling her into me. I keep my hand on her stomach. Normally I would rest it in between her breasts but not tonight. She moves her hand over mine and pushes back into me. Great. Her ass is on my penis. Resist, Fitz. Dammit.

"Fitz?" She says quietly.

"Yeah, baby…"

"I just wanted to say thank you for tonight. You have no idea how much all of this means to me."

"Mels, you don't have to thank me. This was something I should of done long before."

"I know, but it just feels good to have you again. Just this.. you.. everything.. you holding me right now, this was all I wanted." I kiss her temple.

"I promise I'll never leave you again." I tell her and I absolutely mean it.

"Fitz…" She says again. This time she's hesitant. "Now that we're working on things it's expected that we, ya know…have sex…and I want to. Trust me, I want to." She says giggling. "But I'm not ready. I just want to trust you first, completely, before we take that next stop, because honestly, once we start I don't know if I'll be able to stop." She says turning around and burying her face in my chest, kissing my neck in the process.

"Oh, Mels," I say stroking her back. "I want you too, baby, more than you know, but you're right. It's not something we should rush." I'm glad we can agree on this topic. It's saving both of us a lot of arguments. Somewhere up above the Gods are blessing us because I think we've fought enough about sex between the two of us over the years.

"Okay, good I'm glad. Goodnight, honey." She says to me, kissing my neck again. So resisting might be a little harder than I thought if she keeps that up. And she called me honey. Gosh, I missed this.

"Goodnight, baby."


	5. Chapter 5

Mellie's POV

I wake up the next morning and Fitz's arms are around me, his head buried in my hair. I missed this. His right arm is underneath my head and his left hand is holding onto my hip. How did we ever let this go? How did things get so bad that we pushed this away?

Big Jerry. Rape. Olivia. Andrew. Fitz falling in love with another woman. And that's when it hits me.. he may love me but what if he still loves her? What if he's just settling for me until she comes back? What if I open myself up to him, fall harder in love with him than I already am, and he leaves me as soon as she's back…I start to feel like I can't breathe. Like I'm suffocating with his arms wrapped so tightly around me. I move away to the opposite side of the bed, as far in the opposite direction as possible. I turn around and he stirs a little, his arms still outreached for me. What if he's holding me and dreaming of her? The thought makes me sick to my stomach. I roll all the way over, away from him and try to get back to sleep.

Fitz's POV

I wake up expecting to rub my hand on Mellie's thigh and bury my nose into her hair when I come in contact with the cold sheet. I lift my head looking for her. Did she get out of bed already? Maybe she's in the restroom. My stomach drops a little as I see she's on the complete opposite side of the bed, as far away from me as possible. It's times like these I wish we still lived in that tiny little apartment on Morgan street where we had a full size bed, instead of the California eastern king that the White House provides. At least back then she wasn't able to put so much space between us when we were fighting. Is that what this is? Is she mad at me? But that's not possible.. she happily fell asleep in my arms last night, she was kissing my neck for Christ's sake. Maybe she just isn't used to us sleeping so close together again. Over the last year, we hardly slept in the same bed, let alone cuddled in our sleep. I decide to wake her up and see what's going on.

"Mels.. Baby?" I say as I reach over the space between us, touching her shoulder. I know she likes it when I call her baby. Maybe this will soften her up.

"Mmmm.." she moans as she wakes up stretching. "Yeah? What time is it?"

I lean over and check the alarm clock. It will be going off in 10 minutes. "Nearly 7:00." I respond.

"Ugh I have to get up soon." She says grumpily. Mellie was never a morning person.

"Don't you usually wake up at 5:30? Why are you still in bed?" She asks me. She's still on her side of the bed and hasn't made a move towards me. Not a good morning kiss. Nothing. What the hell?

"I texted Cyrus last night and told him I wouldn't be in until 8:30. I was thinking we could spend some time together before we started our days." I say, trying not to sound annoyed.

"Oh, Fitz, you didn't have to do that."

"I didn't have to, but I wanted to. I meant what I said last night, Mellie." We're still 3 feet apart in bed, just staring at each other.

"I know you did." She says in a short matter.

"Do you?" I question. "Then why are you all the way over there?" I say sadly. I don't mean to sound like such a sap but I'm afraid she's getting cold feet.

"Sorry.. I just.." she's struggling to come up with a response. "I got hot in the middle of the night so I moved over here to cool down."

I sarcastically laugh at this and roll over, putting my feet down on the ground and step out of bed.

"Whatever, Mellie."

"What?!" She snaps at me, sitting up in bed. Her damn nightgown nearly falling off. I can't focus on that right now.

"You're lying to me." I say.

"I'm.. I'm not, Fitz. Really. I got hot in the middle of the night, that's not uncommon." She's stuttering. Mellie only does that when she's nervous or when she's lying and right now I can tell she's both.

"Like I said, whatever." I say rudely.

"Fitz!" She says, raising her voice at me, but I just walk into the bathroom to get ready, ignoring her.

30 minutes later I come back and she's still sitting up in bed on her iPad. Probably checking her emails or on Pinterest being the perfect little housewife that she is.

"Are you ready to tell me what's wrong yet?" I say standing in front of her with a hand on my hip.

"Honey.." she starts but I cut her off.

"No, don't honey me. Don't use that sweet innocent voice and try to get out of this. What's wrong, Mellie?"

"I just.." she starts but fails.

"Mellie, I can't fix it if you don't tell me what's wrong." I say, finally sitting in front of her on the bed.

Bing. It's like a lightbulb that goes off in my head. "Is it Jerry?" I ask softly.

She takes a deep breath, looking down at her hands. "Yeah.. yeah, it's Jerry. I just miss him. All of this. You, me, us reconciling things last night. I was so happy, Fitz." She says smiling. "I was so happy falling asleep with you last night, and then I woke up feeling terrible. How can I be happy? How can I fall asleep at night with a smile on my face when my son just died?"

"Baby.." I say. I feel like I just got punched in the gut. Of course she's upset about Jerry. Why didn't I think about that before? And then I yelled at her. Dammit. I should have controlled my temper.

I reach out and put a hand to her face, moving a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Mels, Jerry would of wanted us to be happy. He wouldn't want you to sulk or be depressed. He wouldn't want you to give up on every chance of happiness in our life just because we lost him."

"I.. I know." She's stuttering again. Maybe she's just nervous. "I just felt really overwhelmed. Everything is just happening so quickly. "

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have yelled at you." I say moving in to kiss her forehead.

"It's okay." She says shrugging her shoulders. Somehow I feel like I my apology doesn't mean much to her. I just rest my forehead against hers, hoping I can somehow make her see that I'm being genuine. That I'm fighting for our marriage.

It's almost 8:20 and I need to leave for the oval soon. I get up and put my jacket on, just looking at her smiling. She smiles back but it doesn't reach her eyes.

"I have to get to the oval, but I'll see you later?" I ask. I shouldn't be asking, I know we'll dinner tonight like we do every night, but things are still up in the air after our argument.

"Yeah.. yeah, you will. Have a good day, honey." She says. Well at least she's calling me honey.

Something else is wrong. She's still upset. But I push it to the back of my mind as I'm walking to my office. After all, I've got a country to run.


	6. Chapter 6

Mellie's POV

It's almost 7:00 p.m. when I finish in my office for the day. Fitz and I usually have dinner together around this time but Lauren called my secretary to inform me that Fitz is busy and wouldn't be making it. He's probably still aggravated with me about this morning. I lied to him and I shouldn't have. I feel terrible. Here he is at least somewhat trying and I'm evading the truth and pushing him away just like I always do. I decide to walk to the oval and try to speak to him. I don't want to go to bed upset about this and have this fight drag on for days.

I reach his office and Lauren tells me that he's free and I can go in. I don't bother knocking.

"Hi." I say to him softly.

"Hi, Mels." Well he called me Mels so that's a good sign. He doesn't do that when he's mad at me.

"Why aren't you eating dinner?" He asks as he sits behind his desk casually, a few briefs and pen in his hand.

"Well I was told a certain husband of mine wouldn't be making it so I decided to skip dinner tonight." I say standing in front of his desk.

"You should go eat something. I've got briefs I've gotta catch up on.. I'll probably be here until midnight. It was why I wanted to spend time with you this morning, I knew I was gonna be busy tonight."

"So this isn't some passive aggressive retaliation in response to our argument this morning?" I ask being kind of snotty. It pisses me off that he didn't want to have dinner with me.

"No. Why would I do that? I thought we settled things this morning before I left.." He says standing up.

"We did.. we did. But I just thought.." I take a deep breath before continuing. I don't want to show any weakness, but I need to be honest with him. "You always check on me. Everyday since Jerry's death you always take time out of your day to check on me. You didn't do that today and I don't know, I just kind of thought the timing was fishy." I say to him.

"So your mad because I didn't come see you today…?" He asks.

"I'm not mad." I respond quickly, stepping away from his desk. "Just disappointed I guess."

"Yeah, well waking up to find my wife as far away from me as possible this morning kind of disappointed me too." He says throwing his briefs on his desk.

"So we're back to this?" I ask, growing increasingly frustrated.

"Yeah, I guess we are." He says putting his hands on his hips.

"I don't know what you want from me, Fitz." I say beginning to pace.

"I want you to be honest with me, dammit! Yell at me, throw things, drink yourself into a drunken stupor if you need to but don't give me this crap. I hate this side of you. I hate when you put your walls up and push me out. Our marriage barely survived it once, it won't survive it again, so either tell me what the hell the problem is so I can fix it or stop wasting my time!" He shouts.

Wow. He's really angry with me…a lot angrier than he led on this morning.

He takes a deep breath. "We've got to stop doing this to each other. I hate yelling at you, but sometimes you just make me so angry, Mellie." He says with his back to me and his fingers tugging at the back of his neck.

I sit down on the couch and face him. I need to be honest with him…about everything.

"I lied to you this morning. I wasn't upset about Jerry. I mean I was, I'm always missing him, but that wasn't what caused me to push you away." I look down at my hands before continuing. "You love her, Fitz. You've told me to my face that you love her and I've seen the way you look at her…I know because you used to look at me that way." I choke up at this and a single tear falls. I reach up and wipe it with the back of my hand. "What if I'm just a constellation prize? What if I let you back in and you leave me the second she comes back? I don't think I can take that kind of heartbreak again. And even if you don't leave me, I won't settle for having you say your committed to our marriage when all you can think about is her. I deserve better than that, dammit. I deserve all of you, not the half of you you aren't giving to Olivia Pope at the time."

"Mellie…" He says, but I cut him off. "I love you. I love you, Fitz, with every part of me. No matter what happened in the past, aside from all the hurt you've put me through, I love you. Can you look at me and say the same?"

"Baby…" He starts but doesn't continue. He just takes a deep breath while looking down at his desk. He can't say the same thing to me. I know it and he knows it.

I stand up and begin to walk out. "Sleep in Karen's room tonight. I'll see you tomorrow." I say before reaching for the door handle.

It takes everything in me not to break down on my walk back to the residence. As soon as I reach our room I'm heading straight for the closet. I strip out of my clothes, throwing them in the hamper. I don't grab a nightgown but instead reach for Fitz's NAVY t-shirt. I don't bother washing my face or brushing my hair. My tears have probably washed off most of my makeup. I head to our bed and pull the covers over my head.

I'm numb again.


	7. Chapter 7

Mellie's POV

I wake up the next morning around 9:00 a.m. I didn't hear Fitz come into the bedroom last night to get ready for bed or this morning. A part of me hopes he didn't come in here. I look awful. I know I do because I can feel how swollen my eyes are and I can only imagine what my hair looks like. I climb out of bed, still only wearing his t-shirt, and head into the bathroom to get ready for the day. I'm usually in my office around this time so I make sure to grab my phone off the side table and send Rachel a text letting her know I'll be late.

The shower feels good. No, scratch that, amazing. I try to tell myself that I'm washing away all of my worries from last night. I force myself to get out and continue getting ready. By 9:45 my hair and makeup is done. I'm wearing a short silk black robe, in my closet trying to figure out what to wear. I'm torn between two dresses - a 3/4 sleeved red one that's form fitting enough to show I'm a woman, but loose enough to show I'm a lady. The next is sleeveless and cobalt blue. I'm looking in the mirror holding the two up to my body trying to make a decision when I hear something…

Fitz's POV

I finally came home from the oval around 1:00 in the morning. I finished working around midnight but I stayed in my office for an extra hour to sulk. Boy did I screw up. Royally. Mellie was standing in front of me, pleading for me to say something and I just stood there. I couldn't even say anything. She told me she loved me and I just stood there dumbfounded by her words. How could she love me? After everything I've done to her, after all the hurt I've caused her, how could she love me? I didn't know love like that existed. I arrive at the residence and head straight to our bedroom to get ready for bed. I know she won't want to see me but I need to see her. When I walk in all the lights are off except for the one in the closet. Of course, there she is putting me first even when we're in the middle of a huge fight. She left it on because she knew I'd come in there to change before bed. Before heading into the closet I walk over to the bed and just stare at her. Her eyes are puffy and her makeup is smeared. She's been crying…a lot from the look of things. And she's wearing my Navy t-shirt…she only does that when she needs comfort. Dammit, I should have come in her earlier and demanded we finish this stupid fight. I feel terrible. Even worse then I did in my office. I take one last look at her before walking away to get ready for bed. I decide to just grab my things I'll need in the morning now that way I don't have to disturb her again.

The next morning I'm getting dressed in Karen's room after realizing I didn't grab a tie. Shit. It's a workday. I can't go to meetings and briefings without a tie. I know I'm gonna have to head back to our closet and grab one. I'm walking in when I see her standing there holding up two dresses, trying to decide between which one to wear. Mellie always has to look her best…I'd much rather prefer that short silk robe she's wearing, or what I'm sure she isn't wearing underneath. I don't know why but I decide to speak up…

"The red one. Red's always been your color."

We look at each other in the mirror for a few seconds, neither of us saying anything. She walks over to where she keeps her dresses and puts the blue one back. She folds the red one over and just holds it in her hands. "What are you doing here?" She asks. She doesn't say it rudely, she just wants to know.

"I wasn't planning on disturbing you this morning but I forgot a tie."

"Oh." She says looking down. I can tell she's still upset with me. I need to cheer her up.

"Mind helping me pick one out?" I ask with a slight grin.

"Sure." She says, putting her dress down on the chair and walking over to my tie collection. She grabs one but before she can turn around and hand it to me I make my way towards her.

"Mind helping me tie it too?" I ask hopefully.

She doesn't say anything, just nods her head and begins pulling my collar up before putting it around my neck. This is the closet we've been in almost 24 hours. Her perfume is invading my nostrils and it's taking everything in me not to push her against the wall and make love to her. Maybe that will show her how I feel about her.

"Mellie.." I begin but she cuts me off.

"Don't." She says coldly. "We don't have to talk about it."

"No, stop." I say grabbing her hip with one hand and bringing her face up with my other.

"I love you too. I've always loved you. No matter who's entered my life, you have always been my wife, Mels. You have always been my First Lady." She smiles at this. "I know that I said and did a lot of things. I know I've hurt you beyond measure, but I promise I mean it this time, baby. I said I wouldn't leave you again and I meant it. I don't know where Olivia is and I don't know if I'll ever find out where she's been, but honestly, I don't care." I step away and turn my back to her. I can't look her in the eye and talk about Olivia. Not yet.

"You were right about what you said last night. I do love her. I loved her very much, but, Mellie the only reason I went to her was because you pushed me away. If I had known.." I begin to get angry and I have to take a second to calm myself down. "If I had known the reason behind your distance towards me, I never would of cheated, Mels. Never. You were my best friend. You were the person I told everything to. I just want to get back to that. I just want my wife back." I say as a tear runs down my face and I turn around to face her. She equally has tears in her eyes.

Before I know it she's running towards me and crashing her mouth onto mine. Her hands are around my neck and she's pushing herself against me. I can feel every curve of her body.

"Don't ever leave me again." She says as she comes up for air before kissing me again. I shove my tongue into her mouth and grab the back of her hair. I know we said we would wait for sex but I can't not make love to her. She's unbuttoning my shirt as I untie her robe. I throw it off her shoulders and just admire her all black lace that's underneath. Gosh, I'm a lucky man. Somehow we lose my jacket in the process. I grab her ass with one hand and when I'm reaching to unclip her bra with the other there's a knock on the closet door.

"Sir! I know you're in there. You were suppose to be in the oval twenty minutes ago. We've got a meeting with the president of France in an hour and you haven't even been briefed yet!"

These are the times I curse being president. Mellie re-clips her bra and is beginning to put her robe back on. I lean over and grab my jacket off the ground.

"Give me a sec, Cy!" I yell loud enough for him to hear. She's looking at me with lust in her eyes and we're both unaware of what my next move might be. I move closer to her and grab her face with one hand and kiss her for good measure. Sticking my tongue in her both just to get my point across. "Later." And I know that she knows I don't mean it as a form of goodbye but rather a time when we will finish what we started.

She giggles as I pull away and wraps my tie around my neck.

"Bye, honey."

"Bye, baby." I say winking at her as I walk out.

"Well Cyrus, ready to get the day started?" I say to him. He just rolls his eyes as we walk to the oval.


End file.
